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The problem of goal setting

door | 25 augustus 2016 | Howto

Goals and goal setting. Things we want to do to achieve lasting change. The big stuff. Not loosing 10 pounds or run a 5 mile race. The big stuff that you are dreaming about, where you lie awake over.
Like most of us, I never had any problems with setting goals. I was always having new ideas that solved some kind of problem or frustration in my life – or in other peoples lives. They where easily translated into goals with lists of tasks that needed to be done to get there.
Goal setting - knowing what you want and why makes all the difference

See, no problem in goal setting here.

You know what my problem was… goal getting. Achieving these goals, focus on what’s important and getting it done. I often wondered why I wasn’t any good at this. Why I had a trail of uncompleted goals behind me and a nagging feeling of “I’m never going to get anything done…”.

The journey of deep inner work

It fascinated me to bits and I had to know what the mechanism was behind all this. I started a journey of deep inner work, years of research with reading books, listening to podcasts, studying my own behavior and doing the hard work of turning my psyche inside out. It was painful at times, but what I found out was amazing and exciting. I cannot keep this stuff to myself.
Want to know what the secret ingredient is for successfully achieving real lasting change, setting and completing the right goals for yourself?
» know what you want (what you really, really want) and why.
That’s it. Not really, but that is the base. Without knowing what you want, how can you get what you want? I’m kind of reminded of this quote from Lewis Carroll’s Alice in Wonderland

Goal setting - knowing what you want and why makes all the difference

‘Would you tell me, please, which way I ought to go from here?’
‘That depends a good deal on where you want to get to,’ said the Cat.
‘I don’t much care where —’ said Alice.
‘Then it doesn’t matter which way you go,’ said the Cat

Do you know what you want (what you really, really want)?

For successful goal setting (and getting), start here: think of your envisioned endstate, where do you want to be in 20 to 30 years? How does that look? How does it feel? Does it feel like a ‘nice to have’, something you “just wouldn’t mind happening”? Or does is feel compelling? Do you desire this above anything else? How would you feel if you didn’t succeed in realizing your vision?
These questions will keep you busy for a couple of days, don’t just read this stuff, do the work. Figure out what it is that you want (yes, that what you really, really want) and continue from this.
Thanks for reading, you are awesome. I hope you know that!